We’ve worked with so many couples over the years that we feel like we’ve seen it all. It’s not just that we’ve worked with couples that like different styles of music; the brides and grooms that we’ve had the honor of DJing for have different levels of hands-on/hands-off style, in terms of the music they want, and this is an important thing to discuss here at DIY reception because one thing couples don’t understand right away is that there’s no such thing as a ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ answer to a song, a tradition, or anything – it’s your big day!
To take things a step further – it’s equally important to understand when you don’t have an opinion on a song or tradition. Sometimes we talk with brides who know they’re going to need to do a father/daughter dance, but they don’t have a song in mind. They’ll often say, “Is it bad that I don’t know what song I want to do?” Our answer is: “Absolutely not!” In fact, it’s probably better that you acknowledge that you’re not feeling strongly about a certain song, so you can start looking for a song that’s worked for others in the past.
Recognizing that you’re indifferent to a certain key song, or area of the reception, music-wise, allows you to be more flexible in the planning process. But that sounds counter-intuitive, doesn’t it? This is the most important day of your life; shouldn’t you have an opinion?
Not neccesarily. Think about your other bridal vendors. Do you care if your wedding protographer shoots Nikon or Canon? Are you splitting hairs with your cake vendor about the viscosity of the buttercream icing? Often not. So don’t feel bad if you’re drawing blanks about certain songs, certain traditions, or large, gaping holes on your planner sheet. You don’t have to have a strong emotional tie to every blank you’re filling in. Obviously, as Pro’s, our hope is that the couples would love every single song involved, but we totally understand when couples say that they don’t really care what we play during the garter toss.
There are a ton of resources out there on the internet to help form and inform the choices of songs you make. We think that we’ve made a pretty great set of tools to guide you through the process, but we’re not the only ones. We’re huge fans of /r/weddingplanning, for instance – they’re a great community. The Knot‘s forums are great places to look if you’re looking for some extra pushes in specific directions.
Either way, your big day is yours and yours alone – but that doesn’t mean that you need to have all of it figured out at the moment, and it also means that you don’t need to feel strongly about every single detail. Don’t sweat the small stuff; leave some things to the Pros – we’re here to help.